The Challenge for Self-Confidence
The Challenge for Self-Confidence
Self-confidence is NOT about knowing that you can do everything. The truth is, well, you can’t. Self-confidence is about having the ability to recognize what you are capable of. It’s about having a belief in yourself based on what the evidence suggests. Often, we conflate ego with self-confidence. We admire guys like Kanye West. We say things like "Kanye West has lots of ego and he's successful." But no, Kanye West is successful because he has talent. And you know what, I feel like he would've been even bigger if not for his ego. So don’t mistake ego with self-confidence. Self-confidence is better. It does not boast; it does not take pride.
Self-confidence is the foundation of one’s belief in himself/herself.
Acknowledge the Truth
Do not lie to yourself. This will only make things worse for you. If you’re not achieving your goals and you feel bad about yourself, then start acknowledging how you feel and get a hold of the situation. This is not the time for avoiding the truth. This is the time to be honest and look at what place you’re currently at. Will it be hard for you to accept that things haven’t worked out so far? For sure. But as they say, “the truth will set you free.” Lying about your situation means you’ll just waste more time contemplating and sobbing instead of using that time to pivot and get better. So acknowledge the truth. Accept it and embrace it. That is the first step to gaining confidence, and it can be liberating.
Action Guide:
What are the hard truths that you need to accept in your life? Answer this question truthfully!
Owning Your Stuff
You know what’s one of the best ways to become unequivocally confident? BE ACTUALLY GREAT AT WHAT YOU DO. I know, mind-blowing stuff right! Sarcasm aside…You have to be good at what you do because it's going to be the foundation of your confidence. When you're good at what you do, you doubt yourself less. You become less prone to self-criticism. You work on your weaknesses instead of blaming yourself for your mistakes. Being good means being aware of your current skills or knowledge level in your own field, and then deliberately working on yourself to improve every single day. Kobe Bryant never stopped practicing. Stephen King kept on writing. These guys kept on improving every single day.
Action Guide:
What is the main skill that you have? Start taking deliberate actions to help you improve this specific skill. If it’s sports, then schedule a daily practice. If it’s writing, then go write every day. If it’s in the academia, then go read every single moment that you can. Never stop learning and never stop improving. That’s how you achieve greatness and true confidence.
